Temple Dweller

That may seem like an odd way to title this post, especially as this blog has been decidedly non-football to this date. I was contemplating changing my facebook status today and was vacillating between a line from the song in my head or the required cheer for my favorite college football team. And it is required. After all, this is “Red Out Around the World” day, the day the Huskers beat Texas.

In my life, be lifted high

In my world, be lifted high

In my love, be lifted high

How do I reconcile my love for God and desire for Him to be glorified with Husker game day? Will this day be simply about wearing red and being loud as I work out in front of the television? Hmm… amazingly enough, I remember Scripture that addresses this.

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  1 Corinthians 10:31

Ok, so in context Paul is talking about eating food with unbelievers, but this “whatever you do” applies to football too. There are things that we can and should enjoy in this life and football is one of them. The point Paul is making is that we need to live our lives with Christ at the forefront, considering others above ourselves.

In my life as I work on the elliptical machine, be lifted high

In my world where we wear red and make noise, be lifted high

In my love of Nebraska football, friends and food, be lifted high

GO BIG RED!!!

Comments (1) Oct 16 2010

“Forgiveness… Is more than saying sorry…” A terribly sung line in a movie not worth watching, but the words are true. I was reminded of this as I found myself harboring uncharitable thoughts toward the man next to me on the elliptical machine this morning. After a few minutes, this thought shocked me almost to a stand still: Wow, I need to forgive this man for turning off the fan! It seems silly, but this man turned off the fan when he arrived, and 3 minutes later I was sweaty and not enjoying the workout any more. In that moment, I had to make the decision to not count it against him for doing something that caused my discomfort. I had to choose to set my mind on something else.

How often are we peeved or offended by something and choose to let our thoughts run to their fullest extent instead of forgiving immediately? How often to we insist on our own rights when instead they should be laid down? This man, as he shut off the fan, muttered “This is so annoying!” How often to we assume that our opinion is the only one that matters?

The problem I have found is that I forget how much I have been saved from. My focus is not on the cross, it is on my own needs and desires. I forget that my greatest need, that of salvation from my wretchedness and sin, was fulfilled on the cross. I forget how much I have been forgiven.

But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34a

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.       1 John 2:1-2

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47

The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves… Then summoning him, his lord said to him, “You wicked slave, I forgave you all that  debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?” Matthew 18:23, 32-33

Why forgive? Because I have been forgiven. Not only that, I have an intercessor before the Father, declaring Himself the satisfaction for my due punishment! I have been forgiven much, therefore I will choose to love much and to forgive others as I have been forgiven.

Thank you, Lord, for Your forgiveness!

Comments (0) Oct 06 2010

Recently, I was challenged to go a little deeper in conversation. “Find out what they love, and ask them about it.” The premise is that the thing someone loves should become obvious after only short conversation. This begs the question: What do I love, and is it obvious after a short conversation with me? So often I am like an onion, too many layers to know easily. John says that he wasn’t like that.

What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life – and the life was manifested, and we have seen and testify and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was manifested to us – what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ.     1John 1:1-3

John is transparent. What he has seen and heard and touched with his hands he can’t stop talking about. Jesus is the Christ and in Him is eternal life!

What have I seen and heard and touched with my hands? What (Whom) do I love? Is this obvious to those I meet?

Today I had the opportunity to share the faithfulness of God with a new friend. I encouraged her to get her Bible out of the basement and read Psalms as she goes through a tough time. I reminded her that God loves her, that He has a plan for her good. I told her I was praying for her. As I finished talking with her, I was convicted that not all of my relationships are so God-centered.

A reflection question put forth for this week at my church asks if there are any relationships I need to end because they are not glorifying to God. I can honestly answer no because many of my relationships lack the depth they should have only because I am not the friend I should be.

The thought crossed my mind as I ate only until I was full and exercised for 30 minutes, spent time in the Word and wrote to some friends: Wow! I’m doing things that are “good for me” today. May every day be filled with good as I love my good God with all my being!

Comments (1) Oct 04 2010

My heart is overwhelmed, my eyes spill over. In the words of King David:

Blessed are You, O Lord God of Israel our father, forever and ever. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O Lord, and You exalt Yourself as head over all. Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone. Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name. But who am I and who are my people that we should be able to offer as generously as this? For all things come from You, and from Your hand we have given You. For we are sojourners before You, and tenants, as all our fathers were; our days on the earth are like a shadow, and there is no hope. O Lord our God, all this abundance that we have provided to build You a house for our holy name, it is from Your hand, and all is Yours. (1Chronicles 29:10-16)

My job, a place to live, sunshine, new friends, NHSC, good news about my friend from last month, summer, health, my brother’s wedding, not being behind at work, mercy that shields me from wrath, grace that gives me what I could never deserve. Right standing before God. Love immeasurable. I have so much to be thankful for! How great is God’s goodness toward me!

Comments (1) May 27 2010

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

I woke up singing this song. I woke up late and rushed to get to work but clocked in only 3 minutes after the hour. I hummed a Sarah Groves song as I changed my computer password.

Little did I know that I would call upon God’s mercy numerous times today. Little did I know that I would have to share bad news with someone who has become a friend. Little did I know that my knowledge would be so inadequate. Little did I know that I would be asked for advice by someone who should know more than I. Little did I know that life would get messy.

I found myself clinging to God, at times fighting back tears, knowing that once again I would need God to give me sleep tonight. I felt so ignorant! I knew I was at the end of myself. I knew I could be making important mistakes without even realizing it.

As I drove home from work, I remembered that I had planned to rent a movie tonight. It didn’t even appeal. I was hungry for the comfort only God can give, the comfort from finding Him exactly as He always is.

Lo and behold, my reading put me in John 9, where the disciples ask a question I have been trying to avoid asking all day. “Why, God? Who is to blame?”

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. ” (John 9:1-3)

All day, I have been troubled over these situations. I was assigning blame to myself, not recognizing that God is still sovereign over my inadequacy. How sweet is this mercy! How great is the Holy Spirit’s timing! I could have read anywhere tonight, but He puts me right where I needed to be.

I join with Solomon in singing:

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:22-26)

I can’t wait to see what God will do in my friend’s life!

Comments (1) Apr 27 2010

Inheritance is something that you expect. But, by necessity, someone must die for inheritance to be awarded. In my reading of the one-year Bible last week, I was struck by a contrast in attitudes toward inheritance.

In the parable of the prodigal son, the younger son anticipated his inheritance and squandered it before it was lawfully his. The older son did not recognize that his inheritance was his even as his father lived. The father understood what was truly important.

But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.        (Luke 15:32)

One passage has always caused me to spend many minutes in serious reflection and confession.

A ruler questioned Him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments, ‘Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not bear false witness, honor your father and mother.’” And he said, “All these things I have kept from my youth.” When Jesus heard this, He said to him, “One thing you still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely  rich. (Luke 18:18-23)

This man did not understand what the inheritance of true worth was.

In Israel’s inheritance of the land that He gave them, God gives us a glimpse of the true treasure.

The the Lord said to Aaron, “You shall have no inheritance in their land nor own any portion among them; I am your portion and your inheritance among the sons of Israel.” (Numbers 18:20)

Whoa! God is the inheritance the Levites had in the land given to them! I’m sure at times this was a point of resentment. They were in service to God and their entire livelihood depended on others’ obedience to bring in the tithe. But wait, it actually depended on the goodness of God toward them as HE was their portion.

David wasn’t a Levite, but he desired the Lord as his portion.

I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good besides You.” The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. (Psalm 16:2,5-6)

What should our heart be? Should we follow David in recognizing the Lord as the most precious of treasures? Unequivocally, yes!

The I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.” (Revelation 21:1-7)

Eventually, my heart will be made new so that it is completely satisfied in God. For now, I pray that I would be given an undivided heart to fear the Name of the Lord. I join Matt Redman and PLUS in joyful exultation of the Blessing God gives!

Comments (2) Apr 22 2010

Lately I have been growing in my hunger for Bible study. When I searched for a church and group of women to be involved with, the way that they study the Bible was one of the key areas I was interested in. While hunger for God’s Word can be a measure of desire for God, it can also become a trap. If the goal of my reading is to know Scripture, it is sin. In my reading yesterday, I came across Jesus’ words to the Jews in John 5:

You search the Scriptures because you think that in them  you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life. (John 5:39-40)

Yikes! The Pharisees were religious people. They knew the Scriptures so well that they liked to trip others with the smallest portion of the Law. (Actually, they were rather vindictive about it, even making up new rules to keep.) They hung out with the scribes, whose job was to copy the Scripture perfectly. They came at Jesus with religious arguments. In John 5, they are upset because He healed someone on the Sabbath. What they missed was the entire point of the Law. The Law shows how imperfect, unrighteous, incapable we are of coming to God by our own means. It is not the way to God, just a means for us to understand our need for Jesus.

In the same way, my study of the Bible should be to grow in relationship with my Savior and not to sound smarter or learn a good lesson. In my Navigator days, my Bible study leader warned against forgetting the Holy Spirit. “The trinity isn’t Father, Son, and Holy Word.” she told us. That subtle reminder to search for the person of God instead of knowledge about Him has stuck with me for years. Peter had it right when he responded to Jesus:

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:68-69)

I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. (Philippians 3:8)

Comments (1) Apr 14 2010

Tonight, I decided, was the perfect time to shave my legs. (Oh the exciting life of a single exhausted PA!) And then I started to rethink my position. The bathtub is slick, and I am always afraid I will fall while shaving. Aha! About a month ago I bought anti-slip patches to affix to the bottom of the tub. I’ll put them on and then shave. I grabbed the packet and looked at the instructions, halfway to the bathroom before I realized the problem. They have to dry for 12 hours before you can get them wet…

There went that plan.

It’s ok, I thought. Now they are in the bathroom, where they have a much better chance of getting put on soon, right? I remembered the stages of change theory, which I use often as a PA. In a nutshell, the model hypothesizes that people make changes gradually over time. It involves six stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. I’m in the preparation phase; I’ve bought the stickies, and now they are even closer to where they need to be. And I began to rethink my decision to shave my legs. Weigh the risks versus benefits. Plan to do something else with the rest of the night.

Wait a minute!

Procrastination never allows for a completed task. My sister wrote a great blog post about this a few days ago. Basically, the Christian life is not about waiting for tomorrow, it is about immediate obedience. My pastor said it this way: “Delayed obedience is disobedience.” Oops! New plan for the evening in the making.

But so often, we become aware of sin in our lives and laugh it off. I do it all the time. I postpone dealing with it because I don’t want to be vulnerable before my Bible study, or I don’t want to apologise to a coworker. I cover my shame, not realising that my God is never angry with my confession and is faithful to cleanse me of my sin.

Not only is procrastination a sin, but it sets the pattern for continued sin. James said it this way:

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:22-25)

Pastor Justin, again: “If you don’t apply the preached Word of God to your life, then you are training yourself to hear truth and do nothing about it!”

Ouch! But so worth repenting over, because that is when true freedom and joy come in the Lord. I shaved, cleaned the tub, affixed the anti-slip stickers, and finished cleaning the bathroom. Hmm…

Don’t believe the lie: the transtheoretical model is not God’s model. Obey immediately!

Comments (1) Apr 09 2010

Have you ever had a day where it seemed impossible to slow down, like you would miss something if  you did? This week has been full of such days. My senior year of high school, I thought I was busy. I was, compared to many of my friends. I often likened my life to standing on a speeding train juggling, all the while being thrown new things to keep in the air. Rebecca St. James’s song “My Hope” reminded me to trust God in that time.

I have since learned that life could only get busier from there. I thought college was bad, and then I started PA school. Between working full time, attending classes, and studying pharmacology and clinical medicine I rehearsed with the worship team and spent time with family. I reasoned that life may not be less busy after school, but at least it would be a relief to go one place, work hard, and go home. Well, here I am in the working world. It is simpler but no less busy and even more exhausting at times. This week we are implementing a new computer system. We are supposed to have lighter schedules, but that didn’t work out for me today. Not only did I have a 1-2 patient shy-of-normal schedule, but I had the new system to wrestle with. And there is one constant in my work that I didn’t really have any inkling about in school. I have to expend mental energy throughout the day to be the best PA I can be, for my patients’ good and so that I can sleep at night. So, this week, I’m exhausted. It feels like I will always be striving.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy dwelling places of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord, who has wrought desolations in the earth. He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fire. “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Psalm 4

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; be gracious to me and hear my prayer.

O sons of men, how long will my honor become a reproach? How long will you love what is worthless and aim at deception?

But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself; the Lord hears when I call to Him. Tremble and do not sin; meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the Lord.

Many are saying, “Who will show us any good?” Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O Lord! You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.

Play the audio file below to join me in a blast from the past, a Steve Green kids song from Psalm 4. I am going to sleep.

I Will Lie Down and Sleep

Comments (1) Apr 08 2010

As a small girl, I remember hearing the story of how I came to be named. The first mention was probably when I was 5 or 6 years old, right about the time mom was contemplating a girl name for the third of my four brothers. The conversation went something like this:

“We didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl, but it didn’t matter because God named you. We prayed often for you, and knew that you were Anna Elizabeth.”

In my teen years, I delighted that God knew me before I was born. I meditated Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 1. I knew what the meaning of my name was, but didn’t really think about it much.

During Missionettes we learned that Anna was a prophetess who lived in the temple in the time of Jesus’ birth, day and night serving God through prayer and fasting and looking for the redemption of Israel.

While I knew these things superficially, I was too busy becoming who I wanted to be. I never imagined that possibly, just maybe, God wanted me to be Anna Elizabeth.

Anna: gracious and merciful

Elizabeth: she worships the Lord God, consecrated to God

As I grew to adulthood, I began to be even more drawn to the idea that I was to embody the name I had been given. When I look at the ministry that God has led me to, I marvel that He knew exactly what He was doing! I definitely am motivated by mercy in my career and personal relationships. I love to be hospitable and often go out of my way to not inconvenience others. Music in worship to God is another passion of mine. I was blessed to be involved with the worship team at church for many years, learning that God is worshiped in all we do and not just in the songs we lead.

I feel like I’m at a crossroads, much in my life has changed in the last year.  Even though my roles have changed, my identity is the same. I daily strive to be the gracious worshipper God desires that I be.

Comments (1) Apr 07 2010